Wow.. Indeed, its very long since I last blog about a year ago. During these period of time many things do happen. Things got worsen between me and my husband even after my baby was born it turned even sour. Until my tolerance level is up, I had decided to leave him with my baby. Chances are given to him one after another but he seems no signs of changing at all. Keeps dragging my time to get things settled so I decided to make up my mind and take the first step. From the start till marriage even till two weeks before my baby was born, he has never said to me before that he loves me and he wants me but instead he keeps grumbling to me non stop that he cant get the freedom he wants and also he cant drink too. But I was wrong. I used to think that he really loved me even though he never say it to me but I realize it he doesn't love me at all and also not truly want me. All he wants was just to make used of me. I know it by viewing it at his phone when he is back dead drunk one day when he message a girl named Lindi aka Elbee Khor. He messaged her lots of sweet words that he never ever message me and also bring her to lots of place whereby the both of them hang out from day to till late night. Apparently, I know he does a lot of things behind my back without me knowing or my consent and also break my heart too. I know that love cant be forced and I also never forced him. I thought that no matter what happen between us he will still did his part as a dad but eventually he failed me again. Until den I realize be it with or without him in my life its no longer important anymore. Cos what matter to me most is my son as he will always be my top priority. Once there is a person asked me this: Think twice before rushing into decision. Don't regret it by harsh decision. I replied: I had think it more den twice and it is also not a harsh decision so I will not regret it. That person asked me back again: Do you still loved him? I replied: Its not a matter of whether do I still loved him or not. Den asked me again: How about your son? You want him to be a fatherless despite having one? I replied: With or without him, I will still be able to raise my son up myself. Den asked me again: Why let things be hard on yourself? You don't deserved to be treated like this. I replied: I don't find it hard at all cos he is my son. And I don't deserved to be treated like what? Den asked me again: You really don't want to give him anymore chances? I replied: Things will turn out to be like this is no longer beyond my limits. I am really very tired of all this. All I want was a very small simple request yet he cant even lift up to it. If he really have the heart to change, he will. But if he doesn't, no matter how many chance I gave him it will still turns out to be failed. Maybe one day he will really change but I can be very sure it will definitely not be me that he change for instead is someone whom he really wants, loved and dote the most. Last but not least asked me again: Dont you hate him for what he do to you? I replied: Hate? Why should I hate him instead I want to thank him for giving me a son cos he brings joy to me and my family. Brightens up my day and also fill my life to the fullest. I have long forgiven him for what he had done to me and also wish him all the best. Forgive and forget is the choice for me. Everyone all have a choice it depends on how you choose and how you want it to be. May god bless me. Nights and sweet dreams peeps. :)
I love dogs.
I love black.
I'm bad-tempered and dirty; not a trace.
I party till dawn,
I shop till dusk.
That's coz...
I'm a girl. And a beautiful one too.
It's Me
J O A N N E there's nothing wrong with my name.
If you think you know me, read my blog and think again. I'm imperfect and I'm Lovin' It.
I'm the only witness and the only person who can judge my life.
This is my blog so Click here if you hate it.
announcements;p
WANTED
I miss them badly
I want a coach bag
I want my driving license
I want you
I want a gucci bag as well
I want a iPhone 3G S
I want new heels
I want my car
I want money
I want new clothes
I want love
I want me to you
I want mars
I want my own apartment
I want my wedding ring
I want Kim Hyun Joong
I wannt to go KOREA
I want my 7 HUSKIES
I want my credit cards
I want my MR RIGHT
I WANT A REAL DRAGON BABY
