Wow.. Indeed, its very long since I last blog about a year ago. During these period of time many things do happen. Things got worsen between me and my husband even after my baby was born it turned even sour. Until my tolerance level is up, I had decided to leave him with my baby. Chances are given to him one after another but he seems no signs of changing at all. Keeps dragging my time to get things settled so I decided to make up my mind and take the first step. From the start till marriage even till two weeks before my baby was born, he has never said to me before that he loves me and he wants me but instead he keeps grumbling to me non stop that he cant get the freedom he wants and also he cant drink too. But I was wrong. I used to think that he really loved me even though he never say it to me but I realize it he doesn't love me at all and also not truly want me. All he wants was just to make used of me. I know it by viewing it at his phone when he is back dead drunk one day when he message a girl named Lindi aka Elbee Khor. He messaged her lots of sweet words that he never ever message me and also bring her to lots of place whereby the both of them hang out from day to till late night. Apparently, I know he does a lot of things behind my back without me knowing or my consent and also break my heart too. I know that love cant be forced and I also never forced him. I thought that no matter what happen between us he will still did his part as a dad but eventually he failed me again. Until den I realize be it with or without him in my life its no longer important anymore. Cos what matter to me most is my son as he will always be my top priority. Once there is a person asked me this: Think twice before rushing into decision. Don't regret it by harsh decision. I replied: I had think it more den twice and it is also not a harsh decision so I will not regret it. That person asked me back again: Do you still loved him? I replied: Its not a matter of whether do I still loved him or not. Den asked me again: How about your son? You want him to be a fatherless despite having one? I replied: With or without him, I will still be able to raise my son up myself. Den asked me again: Why let things be hard on yourself? You don't deserved to be treated like this. I replied: I don't find it hard at all cos he is my son. And I don't deserved to be treated like what? Den asked me again: You really don't want to give him anymore chances? I replied: Things will turn out to be like this is no longer beyond my limits. I am really very tired of all this. All I want was a very small simple request yet he cant even lift up to it. If he really have the heart to change, he will. But if he doesn't, no matter how many chance I gave him it will still turns out to be failed. Maybe one day he will really change but I can be very sure it will definitely not be me that he change for instead is someone whom he really wants, loved and dote the most. Last but not least asked me again: Dont you hate him for what he do to you? I replied: Hate? Why should I hate him instead I want to thank him for giving me a son cos he brings joy to me and my family. Brightens up my day and also fill my life to the fullest. I have long forgiven him for what he had done to me and also wish him all the best. Forgive and forget is the choice for me. Everyone all have a choice it depends on how you choose and how you want it to be. May god bless me. Nights and sweet dreams peeps. :)
9:29 PM
Saturday, September 18, 2010
Finally, after a long wait my baby is out now!!! He is so cute and adorable!!! Just love him to the max and also very dote on him too. Well, he is my one and only son ma so no choice have to dote on him. Looks like when I am baby that time. Totally alike!!! HAHAHA!!!! Just cant wait till his full month now!!!! HAHAHA!!!!
4:31 PM
Wednesday, August 11, 2010
Well, if things were to end it this way, it will end it eventually. But the best is still with my firm decision I had made 5 months ago even up to now despite of all the advice I get which I should not even listen at all. I know there is a saying goes like this: Knowing your own sense of direction yet you still let others to hold your nose and walk be it a dead end. This marriage is totally a failure I would say or rather it cant be consider as a marriage. I always thought that things will change but ended up it got worsen. Perhaps, we are really not suitable for each other. All these while, I am just being treated like a fool. Each things you do are never on your own records except towards yourself and other girls. I am extremely tired and disappointed to the max too. Will all these just come to an end? I really dun have the strength to continue any further. Neither do I still want to get hurt even deeper by you. I just hope that there is always a strong pillar for me to lean on whenever I am in need of it and also stand by me. But i know this pillar is not you cos you never belongs to me at all.
1:41 AM
Tuesday, August 10, 2010
Hurray!! At last after a long wait, my blog shop is finally up now. Haha!!! I really enjoy doing it very it much. Hope that I will have people ordering from me cos the price are really very cheap from outside and also save the haste to rush here and there just to get the stocks they wanted for their fur kids last minute. Our operating hours are 24 hours per day. So you can dun need to worry about where to get the food u wanted for Ur fur kids too last minute. My dear friends out there, please help me to promote it to Ur friends if they have keep any pets or already have fur kids. Feel free to visit us at http://joannepetshop.blogspot.com. Hope to hear news from you guys soon. Thanks. :)
5:54 PM
Monday, August 2, 2010
After a long wait, finally I am now 34 weeks pregnant le. Time pass real fast as I am due next month. HAHA!!! But also at the same time I am very scared and nervous too. After all, this is my 1st child. Heard a lot of the feed backs from those young mummies around me including myself cos I am young too. HAHA!!! Kind of looking forward to see my little prince charming next month. HAHA!!! Alright shall stop here den. Will update again once I have gotten my little prince charming photo.
7:36 PM
Tuesday, April 27, 2010
I am finally back to blog again after a long time. There are many things happen within such a short period of time. Haix.. Been having problems looking for job with my current status. Feel so not worth it.. Being single is still the best but having a partner by ur side is a bonus. Haha.. Humans are just so funny. They only tend to treasure it once they lose it. But when they manage to get it, they just dun seems to treat it as one issue. Haix.. I am just so bored nowadays. Most of my friends says that he is very lucky man especially guys. Haha.. Maybe he is but I dun think so. Shall see how he says and think about it. Hahaha.. Shall stop here den.
12:31 PM
Thursday, March 18, 2010
I am just too excited for next week. My ROM has been changed from May 10 to March 26 which is just next fri. I know its a bit too rush but still I am very excited about it. Cant wait till next week to arrive. Next week will be a very busy day for me. Haix.. Its good to be busy den free in case I anyhow think and let me thoughts run about. HAHA!!!!!! Im very vexed and frustrated nowadays. I feel that such things just happen too fast and also too real to believe it. I really dunno what to do now. Feel like running away from everything now. I just want to calm down and think peacefully being alone for now. I dun want to regret it once after I sign the paper and end up being divorce. Thats not the choice I wanted. I know as long as I haven sign the paper, I will still have the right to make my own decision and choice too. May god bless me and guide me through the right path from now. Shall stop here den.
I love dogs.
I love black.
I'm bad-tempered and dirty; not a trace.
I party till dawn,
I shop till dusk.
That's coz...
I'm a girl. And a beautiful one too.
It's Me
J O A N N E there's nothing wrong with my name.
If you think you know me, read my blog and think again. I'm imperfect and I'm Lovin' It.
I'm the only witness and the only person who can judge my life.
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